Chicago DUI lawyer comments on the drunk driver who thinks he drives better than his sober wife

This Chicago DUI lawyer has heard and seen really bizarre things when it comes to DUI's. These include DUI's on motorized stools, DUI's with .000 breath alcohol test results, and arresting a nurse who doesn't follow the police officer's instructions to draw the blood of a DUI suspect. I will admit, I haven't had a client ever tell me that they are a better driver drunk than their sober passenger. Now comes word from "The Ethicist" Randy Cohen of one such driver.

From The Ethicist:

I’m convinced that I’m a better driver with a couple of glasses of wine under my belt than my wife is stone sober. If we’ve been out to dinner and I’ve quaffed one or two, maybe even enough to put me over the legal limit, but my wife has abstained so as to be the designated driver, shouldn’t I drive home anyway? I’d risk a ticket, but the highway would be safer for everyone. D.K., SCOTTSDALE, ARIZ.

Folks, I feel compelled to interject here and say DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! I've posted here and here about the harshness of DUI laws in Arizona (there's a mandatory jail sentence, even for first time offenders like former Phoenix Sun's player Charles Barkley). I've posted here and here about the numerous consequences of a DUI arrest in Chicago, Illinois.

When I first read this I thought it was a joke, but I've been reading Randy Cohen's column for years and can't imagine he would have printed without prior vetting.

Here's Cohen's Response:

I’m convinced that I’m a better driver blindfolded than my ex-wife folded — that can’t be right — or unblindfolded, but I’d hate to have to convince a traffic cop that this is so. Even if your delightfully flattering sense of your own abilities were accurate, that’s beside the point. You present what traffic court judges call a “false dilemma,” right before they suspend your license and hand out a fat fine. You have options other than choosing between a bad driver and a drunken driver. Even in Scottsdale there must be such a thing as a taxi or a sober friend. You don’t get to drive drunk because your wife isn’t much good behind the wheel.

If she is such a terrible driver, why are you concerned only when you’ve had a few glasses of wine? Why is she ever behind the wheel? Shouldn’t she head for the nearest driving school? You can even drive her there, if you stay off the sauce.

Let's hope he listens to "The Ethicist" otherwise I do know a few good DUI attorneys out in Arizona that I can suggest he retain after his DUI arrest.